This morning about 5 a.m. Central time, my new niece arrived! She is my younger sister's first baby, and the whole family is very excited.
She is going to love her nursery; her Mom put a lot of time and care into preparing for her arrival and it shows. The jungle/animal theme is great, and will be very inspiring to a new little human.
So welcome, new niece -- we hope you enjoy it here!
I haven't been blogging lately because, like many of you out there, I've had to make choices about how I spend my time the last two months. In addition to my daily work as a freelancer and all that entails, I decided last month to learn how to do what most of you take for granted: drive a car.
You might be surprised by this. An adult in the United States without a driver's license?? Almost unheard of, but then again, I've never been known for going along with the crowd. Driving was never very interesting to me, anyway, so my attitude was: I don't have fishing license because I have no interest in fishing. So why should I get a driver's license when I have no interest in driving? You also don't miss what you never had, so I never felt like my life was lacking anything.
After my husband had a medical emergency earlier this year, I realized that I should add driving to my bag of tricks "just in case." While I set out to do something responsible, I'm discovering that it is fun, too! Like many new drivers, I'm still a little nervous merging, and I'm still getting used to the accelerator (too much, not enough . . . ) but overall, I don't stick out on the road -- thank goodness we don't have to put those Rookie Driver signs on our cars any more.
A funny aside about driving and my family is this: I'm breaking a family tradition of sorts. My grandmother was named Cecilia, my mother was named Cecilia, and I am named Cecilia. Until last month, none of "the Cecilias" learned how to drive. Grandpa was a cab driver, so he took Grandma wherever she wanted to go, and whenever Mom tried to learn to drive, she got preganant. After number 7, she decided taking the bus was just fine.
So, I'm spitting in the wind of family tradition in a way because I am now a Cecilia that knows how to drive. I'm actually not bad at it for being so new, but I'm still getting used to the amount of real multi-tasking that must go on behind the wheel: monitoring the road ahead, the traffic on the sides and behind via mirrors, braking and accelerator pressure, speed, and vigilance for the unexpected, like pedestrians who decide to run across four lanes of traffic.
While completing my Maryland required driving course and getting my learners permit has been exciting, and I'm always glad to accomplish something, my life hasn't changed that much, which is a bit disappointing. I expected that I would feel different, or look different, or have a different outlook. The only noticeable difference is that I can drive the car -- as long as a licensed drive over 21 who has had their license for at least three years is with me. As you can guess, it will take me a long time to hit my 60 required road hours before the six months minimum permit period.
Change is always unsettling, and at times, a bit scary, but in this case it wasn't. Maybe because driving is demanding, but not as hard as I imagined. Also, my lifestyle hasn't changed significantly because I still believe in public transportation and walking to get where you want to go.
Like many things, change is always bigger in your mind than it is in its daily application.
We all have our routines. Routines give us comfort; they reassure us that the world is as it should be. We have an expectation of what will happen and it helps us guide our days.
Sometimes, we feel stifled by our routines and feel that the routine is guiding us. However, most of us feel odd or "off" when our routine is affected so we accept the strictures it requires.
Even though I work for myself as a freelancer and can make my own schedule, I still have some routine in my day. It's not as bothersome or boring as a 9 to 5 day, but again, I receive comfort from knowing what to expect.
Then comes the day when your routine is not only off, it's wiped out. Your husband wakes up at 5 am so sick he almost can't see straight. He realizes he won't be able to go to work, but he can't get any rest because he just can't get comfortable. Nothing helps him feel better; you start to feel useless.
So, you call the doctor and try to get an appointment. They don't have any that day, so you take one the next morning. Your husband becomes so much sicker in such a short time that the doctor says to come to the office.
You arrive at the doctor's office and wait for your appointment. The doctor quickly examines your husband and calls an ambulance! You race to the emergency room, not knowing what will happen or what is wrong. You don't panic or let your mind race to "what ifs" because you are focused on your husband and helping him feel comfortable waiting for the ER doctor.
Suddenly, your routine doesn't matter. Deadlines and memos and email have no importance in the world. Your world is the hospital and you are a family member. You spend the day waiting.
Your husband is kept overnight for observation; he fights it but eventually gives in. He knows that something is wrong, too.
You stay as late as you can, then go home to take care of the dog and the house and to make the necessary phone calls. You fall into bed exhausted very late; wondering if you have enough printer ink doesn't even cross your mind.
The next day, your husband is released from the hospital. Nothing serious has been discovered in the tests, which is a relief, but more tests are scheduled for the next week. You breathe a sigh of relief and get home as fast as possible.
The return to normalcy becomes a priority again. You studied political science, so the Gerald Ford quote keeps ringing in your head: "The long national nightmare is over." Yours was just a brief domestic nightmare, but the quote offers strange comfort for strange days.
Strange days without routine, without the comfort of knowing. You realize strangeness is exhausting. You take a nap, and as you drift off you think how nice it was that his office sent a fruit basket.
Last Saturday, my husband and I attended an engagement party for our friends Joanne & Brian. It was a lovely party hosted by good friends of theirs. Brian told me that he had better see something about it on the blog, so Brian, here it is! Happy engagement to you both, and may you have a long and happy life together.
Since this blog is about association management, no topic can go untouched by musings on management. I am a participant in the ASAE Executive Management Listserv, and lately there has been lots of discussion on change and change management. An engagement is a perfect example of change, and thus, our attempts to manage it.
Before Joanne met Brian, they were single and both searching for the person to share their lives with in the future. They searched and searched, knowing they wanted change but not exactly sure how that change would come about. Fortunately, after time, effort and a lot of patience, they found each other. The change they sought was now at hand.
Everyone who knows these two is nothing but happy for them, because they are great people who deserve to be happy. However --
The change just didn't happen to Joanne and Brian. It happened to everyone in their lives, from their friends to their families to their coworkers. That means the rest of us have to change, too. It's a good example of the ripple effect.
They are no longer two singles; now they are a couple. They will have new friends, new relatives, new adventures. Maybe these new aspects of their lives will pull them away from old friends; maybe it will make the old friendships stronger. Uncertainty creeps in and the rest of us say "Wait, where do we fit in their lives now?"
This is the same reaction many of us have when things change at the office. When the CEO says, "We are going to reorganize," the first thing we think is "How will I fit in?" It's uncomfortable because we aren't sure where we stand -- or if we'll even have a place to stand when the reorganization is done.
This is where leadership at an organization is essential; the only part of change that can be truly managed is top management's response to people's reactions. Creating a positive environment where change and all its questions can be openly discussed and handled -- emotions and all -- is the only way to implement change without fear.
Let's face it: even those of us who accept and embrace change as an important part of life can find it scary. I do not believe we can necessarily "manage" change as I believe change is a force with its own agenda, but I do believe that with introspection, honesty and communication, change can be faced without tears and with a sense of adventure.
Uncertainty is the biggest obstacle to change, yet change consists of uncertainty because we can't know what the change will bring until it does.
We can only find solace in the ever passing present moment.
