Association Puzzle

The Problem With Diversity

When my late father was a child, growing up in the working class neighborhoods of St. Louis, Missouri, he actually knew kids nicknamed Stinky, Shorty, and Fatty.  He would mention this from time to time, so one day I asked my Dad why did these kids have these names?

He replied: because they were stinky, short, and fat.

 

In his childhood, the obvious was acknowledged and no one tiptoed around it. There are just certain things that are different about all of us, from our hygiene to our height to our body mass. We notice these things immediately, just like we notice gender and skin color.

 

The difference between then and now is that in the 1930s Stinky, Shorty, and Fatty were just nicknames but today, these names would be considered at the very least “politically incorrect” and at the very worst, hate crimes.

 

Hence, the problem I see with the decades old “diversity movement”: if you can’t state the obvious differences between people because it is now considered unacceptable to do so, how can you truly create a diverse community, whether socially or in the workplace?

 

If you act like everyone is the same, and make it unacceptable to discuss the differences, then where is the diversity?

 

To really embrace diversity, you must first identify and acknowledge what is different. Then, you have to be able to discuss it and acknowledge it. By doing so, we learn not just about someone else, but about ourselves.

 

Many times, by discussing what is different, we find our commonalities. We see that we share backgrounds, attitudes, likes, and dislikes. And, if we find we don’t have a lot in common, we can at least learn something new.  But this only happens if we are free to discuss it.

 

Earlier this fall I participated in a Diversity Roundtable with a group of about 15 people. The host is writing a book on diversity, and this was the first in a series of roundtables organized for the purpose of gathering information.

 

Despite the fact that this was supposed to be a “safe place” to have a “frank and open discussion,” I was chastised several times for pointing out differences that I had seen first-hand in different types of people. For example, people in the Midwest view the world differently than people on either the West or East Coast. How do I know this? I grew up there.

 

Having visited Paris, France, years ago, I mentioned at another point in the discussion that the French approach social interactions differently than Americans. Someone in the room chastised me for stating this because when I said “the French” he heard “those French people”! Fortunately, someone else in the room had lived in France for a time and said that I had a valid observation.

 

I found this attitude extremely disappointing as it reminded me of the fairy tale “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” It was quite obvious that the Emperor didn’t have any clothes on at all, but because the people around him were under peer pressure to pretend they could see the clothes, no one stated what was right in front of them. Today, political correctness and “sensitivity training” pressure us to pretend we don’t see something that is right in front of us.  It diminishes us because we are pressured to ignore the many facets that make an individual the person they are.

 

True diversity is not about head counts based on gender, race, religion, or age, which unfortunately is the approach taken by too many organizations. True diversity is about so much more: the creation of a vibrant community through the blending of the varied education, cultural backgrounds, experiences, talents, and skills of a group of individuals.  

 

But until we get back to the place where it is okay to acknowledge that some of us need a bath, some of us are vertically challenged, and some of us are heavier than others, we will never arrive at the place of true acceptance of each other – with all our faults and all our glories – because we will never really see each other.

 

 

 

10 Things I Love About Association Management!

While I concur with those who state: "No one ever says 'When I grow up, I want to be an association executive,'" it turned out for me to be a great fit, although like many of us, an accidental career find.

Although my personal career path took a turn I never imagined (becoming a consultant rather than continuing as a full-time staff person), I still consider myself an association executive at heart. Association management is a great choice for people like myself with a wide variety of interests, talents, skills -- and an interest in life-long learning.

So, here's my list of 10 Things I love about association management when it is at its best:

1. It is about people and relationships.

2. It is about those people working together with a common vision to reach common goals.

3. Evolution occurs instead of change for the sake of change.

4. People with a stake in the issues get involved.

5. Public policy and public awareness are better served.

6. Members and volunteer leaders learn from each other, and create dynamic continuing education programs and opportunities.

7. Staff members become partners and valued team members in the life of the association.

8. Staff works together to most effectively use the limited resources available to create something unique and of high value.

9. New things are tried, and if they don't work, we try something else!

10. There is no guilt by association, but pride of association.

Do all these things exist all at the same time in every association? Of course not. But, these do exist, these are out there, and that is what keeps me motivated, excited, and challenged.

Vacation Policies: Can We Please Enter the 21st Century?

Recently on one of the ASAE listservs, I saw a discussion on vacation policies. Looking forward to reading innovative or unusual policies, I was shocked to see how many replies still contained draconian years-of-service vacation policies.

Only one reply was about a Paid Time Off plan (PTO) in which employees receive a certain number of days each year to use as needed, whether it is vacation or illness.

In a century and society where employees are transient, build personal brands, and put personal fulfillment over loyalty to an organization, why would you continue to use a policy from the 19th century and early 20th century?

In olden days, when an employee stayed with a job for life, it might have made sense to have a vacation policy based on years of service -- after all, your employees were not going anywhere else and you expected to get and keep their loyalty.

But times have changed! Continuing to use a vacation policy where employees do not get any vacation for one year, and then only get a measly week after one year, and two weeks after four years is a flat out refusal to live in the world we are in.

Employees are likely not going to be there for years and years -- unless you implement enlightened benefits policies -- and treating them like an outcast simply because they have not been at your organization as long as others is a sure way to discourage loyalty and encourage job hopping.

Most importantly, if you hire someone, it is because they already have experience, usually many years of it. Treating them like they are a newbie when they start at your organization is simply ridiculous; after all, you hired them to get all that experience.

Times have not only changed, but society has as well. With the complete breaking of trust between corporations and their employees, attitudes have adjusted too. No one is going to stick around for years for fear of having it "stuck to them."

Since we are supposedly enlightened, let's act like it. Employees are people, and if you want them to act like professional and reliable ones, treat them that way. It's the only hope for keeping any one longer than one year.

If you could change vacation policies, how would you set it up to get the most benefit for both organization and employee?

Managing Schedules Doesn't Have To Be Difficult

I have had one of those days where trying to schedule a meeting takes eight email messages, and then a meeting that was already set was rescheduled -- then it was rescheduled again!

In both instances, we ended up right back where we started, meaning the original time that was suggested or we had already planned. All that back and forth and wasted time to not get anywhere is frustrating in any situation, but with scheduling it's more so because we all have so many things to do, deadlines to meet, or places to go.

When setting conference calls or meetings, there are a lot of free options online, like SetAMeeting.com, that can coordinate everyone's responses and help select the best time to meet. However, sometimes the old ways work just as well, like pick a date and time, send an email to all those invited, and see if it works. If it doesn't, try another date.

With all these tools and options, you would think this would be getting easier, not harder. Scheduling conference calls and meetings is part of life, but let's not make it any harder than it has to be. Set a date and time, let everyone know, and then follow through.

How To Convince The Boss To . . .

Today on one of the ASAE & The Center's lists, someone posted a query asking how others convince their Boss to let them attend educational programming relevant and important to their position. This got me to thinking about convincing "The Boss" to let you do anything, not just attending seminars.

Bosses say no and employees get annoyed, upset, or just plain frustrated. Some bosses say no all the time, while others can be cajoled, and some pull the equivalent of "go ask your Mother" by directing you to some other department head.

No one likes the runaround, and employees deserve to receive the additional support needed to do their best. Investing in employees is a good investment, but with everything else going on in an organization on any given day, it's easy to understand why some staff requests don't even get a blip on the outer edge of the radar screen.

However, if we remember that while that person is "The Boss" they are also human, we realize that they will respond to the same things everyone else does. Most importantly, everyone wants to know "What's in it for me?" If you can answer that question for your boss, not only will you get more "yes" answers to your requests, you'll start to show the boss that you can make his or her life easier.

Example: Boss, I would like to go to this educational program, and I would like the organization to pay for it.

Boss: What's in it for me?

You: I will be a better employee and the organization will receive that benefit.

Boss: No, what's in it for me?

You: After attending this seminar, I will be able to write policy papers for the organization, relieving you of the responsibility of writing them all yourself. And, I'll be able to help research and edit the ones you write.

Boss: Okay, you can go.

In this scenario, the Boss said yes because the outcome directly impacted his/her day, and demonstrated how it would make their workload a little easier.

There is also that old adage of the office: If you want to convince your Boss to do something (or let you do something) explain it in dollars. 

Example: I think we should stop printing the monthly newsletter and send it electronically. 

Boss: Why? 

You: Because we live in a digital world where everything is eventually going to be on the internet. 

Boss: All our members are golf course attendants. They don't work in front of computers all day; they are outside! 

You: But this is what all the other associations are doing . . . 

Boss: If all the other associations laid off everyone in the same position you have, would you think I should do it??

You: No, of course not.

Boss: Then don't use such a lame reason to propose a change. Our members like to sit down at the end of the day, grab a beer, and read the newsletter. 

You: But if we quit mailing the monthly and sent it via email, we could save $5,000 per month.

Boss: What? $5,000 per month? That's $15,000 per quarter and $60,000 per year! The Board will think I'm brilliant.

You: Right, Boss, the Board will think you are brilliant. Does that mean we can switch to electronic delivery at the beginning of the next quarter?

Boss: Yes, and I'm glad I thought of it.

You: You certainly are a brilliant manager, Boss.

Never underestimate the power of  letting your Boss think he/she thought of your idea. If you haven't found the cure for cancer, don't sweat it. If you feel strongly enough about something, what matters is that the idea gets implemented, not who gets the credit.

The most important thing to remember is: get to know your Boss. What is their day like? What are things that stress them out? What makes them happy at the office? This will help you develop better arguments for convincing the Boss to do something you think is a good idea (like sending you to a seminar).

When I was a Boss, I always told the employees in my department that I was willing to change my mind, but they had better be able to explain why I should change my mind. If they couldn't, I wouldn't.

Culture Clash! Blending Current and New Staff

In the association community, we know that each organization has its own unique culture. For example, when I worked at the US Chamber of Commerce back in the late 1980s, we wore lots of what staff called "Reagan Red" and "Bush Blue," which reflected our support for Presidents who supported the business community. On the other end of the spectrum, it was also an inside staff joke to call the place the "Chamber of Horrors" -- followed by an evil laugh >: }

We didn't really think it was horrible, but it was a way to blow off steam (other than stealing office supplies). Those were fun things about the culture, and gave the whole staff a shared experience.

At the time, the organization was so big that each floor and department had their own subcultures. The fourth floor was the executive level, and so everyone tended to be quieter and on their best behavior there. On the fifth floor, where many of the lobbyists had offices, it was a bit rowdier and much busier -- people were always moving around at a quick pace to get things handled. The sixth floor, where the economic policy department was housed, had a contemplative air about it.

When I worked there, the Chamber staff was welcoming and took the time to explain the many organizational subcultures. Most of us caught on very quickly even when we were "newbies."

However, organizational cultures can be extremely uncomfortable for new staff members trying to adjust. There's a new language, new ways of doing things, and a shared history that new staff have missed. For the current staff, there is a "stranger in town" and they need to size them up. Even if new staff bring a great attitude, excellent skills, and unique experience that can make the organization a better place to be, current staff wants to know how quickly the new staff will assimilate -- or, if they will assimilate at all.

Meshing the old and the new is challenging in any situation, so how can we do this well with such inconstant variables as human beings? Here's some ideas:

*Set clear expectations of current staff to create an open and positive atmosphere for everyone (for example, make it clear that gossip is not a desirable professional attribute, but an inquiring mind is).

*Ask a current staff member to be a "buddy" for a new staff member; this can help new staff feel welcome from day one and minimize the feeling of being the "new guy."

*When new staff arrive, have a welcome package waiting that includes information about the organization and the neighborhood where the office is located (don't just leave them forms to fill out).

*Never underestimate the power of lunch! Make the time to take a new staff member out to lunch their first week; this is a great time to learn about them and answer their questions about you and makes them feel included.

We create the atmosphere and the culture in our organizations. This needs to be managed and planned the same way you would plan a project: thoughtfully, positively, and with conviction.

Pajamas in the Afternoon

Last week, the ASAE & The Center Communication Section Council had its monthly conference call, which is always at 2 pm eastern time. On our agenda, we always ask if anyone has any updates.

 

Someone on the Council announced that she was very pleased to have switched her full-time position to a part-time one! We all congratulated her, and then the Chair jokingly asked if she was still in her pajamas – turns out she was wearing actual clothes so the Chair thanked her for dressing up for the call.

 

While I laughed along with everyone else, it was because I was the only one who knew that I was still in my pajamas at 2 pm.

 

Now, in my defense, I injured my back about two weeks ago and I’m having trouble walking and bending. So, pajamas are the best choice when you have a bad back. However . . .

 

It reminded me that the image “outsiders” have of those who work at home is sometimes true: Sometimes, since we work at home, we don’t put on actual clothes. We don’t always wear pajamas, but I bet you would catch most of us in sweatpants or jeans most of the time – when we aren’t attending meetings, of course.

 

There’s been many a time that I’ve bemoaned the fact with a fellow consultant about not having brushed teeth at 1 pm in the afternoon. Not because we are anti-hygiene and dental health, but because we get up and start working right away in the morning and next thing you know, four or five hours have passed.

 

The ability to roll out of bed and start working is an excellent benefit of working for yourself despite the occasional day of pajamas in the afternoon. So, I say, “vive les pajamas” if it leads to higher productivity!

The Lives of a D.C. Freelancer

When I was growing up, one of my favorite things to do was watch old action films with my Dad. We thrilled to the adventures of Cary Grant, Victor MacLaglen, and Douglas Fairbanks, Jr., in “Gunga Din,” cheered for Errol Flynn in “The Adventures of Robin Hood,” and held our breath as Gary Cooper fought for the British Empire in “The Lives of a Bengal Lancer.”

“Bengal Lancer” was a harder film to find (Gary Cooper wasn’t known as an action star) as it came out, like the others, in the 1930s when action films were everywhere. It was easy to get lost in the shuffle or end up in the shadow of “Gunga Din,” so when it was aired, we made a point of watching.

I always had to ask, though, why did they call it the “lives” of a Bengal Lancer? Weren’t they all just living one very exciting and dangerous life?

My Mom liked these films too (although not as much as Bette Davis films) and she tried to explain to me what the title meant, but it was hard to get through to a child. When I asked my Dad, he would just look at me and then start watching the movie again. I guess that’s because he served as a Marine in the South Pacific in World War II, and he didn’t feel he needed to explain anything to anyone.

However, now that I’m older and a bit more experienced, the meaning of the film’s title, “The Lives of a Bengal Lancer” is becoming clearer. In the film, the main characters do whatever is required of them; they are not restricted by the fact that they are an officer or an enlisted man or a cook or a cavalryman. If cannons needed firing, they did it. If fires needed building, they did it. If an insurrection needed putting down, they did it. No one was restricted by title or place because things needed to get done.

This is very much like “The Lives of a DC Freelancer.”

When one works as a freelancer, you become whatever is needed to keep your business going and help your clients. Marketer, accounts payable, accounts receivable, IT department, customer relations, strategic planner, public speaker, writer, editor, project manager – whatever the day throws at you needs doing, so your life changes as the hours pass.

Freelancing is hard work, and it isn’t for everyone. It requires a diverse background, years of professional experience, ability to adapt, a passion for learning, and a rockin’ good sense of humor. (Strong computer skills help, too.)

Next time you hire a freelancer, remember: you are getting not just one life, but many, so you get a great return on investment. Maybe it’s not as exciting as serving in Her Majesty’s Military in the 19th Century, but interesting and valuable nonetheless.

Postal Rate Increase Got You Down?

If the impending postal rate increase on May 14 has you down, take a look at this funny clip on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DV1PgdKnHw4

It's guaranteed to put a smile on your face, even though it won't stop that dent in your budget. 

Association Yoga

Yesterday, I was doing further reading of Light on Life, the most recent book by yoga master B.K.S. Iyengar.  His teachings not only instruct yogis in their practice, but demonstrate how all things are connected in our lives.  Whether we practice yoga or not, we are all creatures of mind, body, and spirit.  We are at our best when these three are in harmony.   

As I was reading, the following paragraph struck me as something that is applicable to association management:

Pausing to reflect on the movement does not mean that you are not reflecting throughout the movement.  There should be constant analysis throughout the action, not just afterward.  This leads to true understanding.  The real meaning of knowledge is that action and analysis synchronize. . . and leads to skillful action. 

While I know all my readers aren't yogis, I believe that this paragraph is strong guidance to help us all manage our professional lives, specifically the many facets of associations.  For example, when I pondered the application of this teaching beyond my yoga practice and into other areas of my life, I realized this was great advice to heed in the area of strategic planning. 

There has been a lot of talk in the association community in recent years about innovation, change, "breaking the box," the "death" of strategic planning, and the habits of "highly effective" associations.  There are many catchphrases and faddish philosophy floating around, sometimes clouding the way.

But is not innovation the synthesis of thought and action?  Is not stagnation the lack of thoughtful movement?  This is the core of growth and development, no matter how you gift wrap it. 

Lunching on Associations

A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a friend who still has a "straight" association job (as opposed to us freelance/consultant types).  He's on the staff of a small specialty organization with strong national alliances, and we got to talking about the things we see as serious problems in any size association:

1) An incapable Chief Staff Executive -- as in a nice person, but a bad manager.  Everything flows from the top, and a lack of confidence and leadership in that one person can make the efforts of the entire staff moot.   

2) Unclear lines of authority -- is it the Chief Staff Executive, regional rep, the home office, or the board that you answer to??  Organizations with too many chiefs and not enough tribesmen don't get very far. 

3) Financial troubles -- this leads to a lack of confidence in the organization by both members and staff.  It also leads to overworked staff when needed staff positions remain unfilled. 

4) An uninterested and uninvolved Board of Directors -- this is a direct hit on staff morale in any association.  Also, we wondered, how can the staff work with a disinterested group to form plans and strategies?  This leads to staff-driven by default, not by choice.

As you can see, we ended up making a list by the end of lunch.  Unfortunately, identifying these things wasn't very good for the digestion, because the only one we could find answers for was financial troubles.  After this discussion, the burgers didn't go down very easily, even though my friend ordered the sliders. 

Dog Days of Summer

It's August, and it's hot.  Yes, we are having a heat wave, but it's always hot in August in DC -- that's why Congress takes a month-long vacation, and everyone else who can get away does.  "Anywhere but here" seems to be the DC area rallying cry.

Of course, it's hot everywhere else, too, but most other places aren't built on a swamp, next to a river, only about 30 miles from the ocean.  The humidity alone is enough to choke a fish, but the darn mosquitos just thrive on it.  Even if you're willing to brave the heat and try to sit on the deck in the evening, the mosquitos think the happy hour buffet just opened, so it's back in the house.

You think you know how hot it is?  You're wrong -- it's always hotter.  Just ask the meteorologists who cheerfully report the heat index: "It's 100 degrees, but it really feels like 110 degrees."  Thanks for sharing; I feel so much better.

People keep asking me if I'm coping with the heat, or staying cool.  Of course I am -- I have a home-based business so I don't have to go outside unless necessary.  To me, this is a silly question despite the fact that people are just making conversation.  At least no one has asked me if it's hot enough for me. 

It's hot, business is slow, and most people are out of town.  What's a freelance consultant/writer to do? 

Nothing.

That's right.  Nothing.  Even when I've accomplished something, the slow pace of this late summer atmosphere makes it feel like nothing.  I'm battling the August doldrums, the dog days of summer, the long, steamy days of strange silence and stagnant air that remind you of a Faulkner novel . . . even if you've never read one.

I look at my "to do" list and then say to myself, "I'll get to it in a minute."  I do, eventually, grudgingly, half-heartedly.  My mind keeps wandering to all the other things I'd rather be doing, wondering if somewhere, someplace, is actually cool -- maybe Canada?  I'm cool inside, but it's so hot outside . . . and it's too quiet.  The birds and squirrels aren't even moving around because it's so hot.  The heat hangs on everything, slowing it all to a crawl.

The sun bakes the garden on the back deck, drooping the leaves of the biggest-I've-ever-grown cucumber vine, even as the petunias turn their faces skyward.  My brain feels like the leaves on the cucumber vine: out of energy, hypnotized by the unrelenting sun, succumbing to the constant bombardment of heat.

Yet, I feel that my brain should be like the petunias -- colorful, creative, turning to look the source of their discontent squarely in the eye.  Shouldn't I be blooming in this heat, reveling in the slower pace, doing all those little things that I put off when things are busy, getting even more done??

But it's August in Washington, so I surrender for now and slow down, knowing that life will kick into full gear again on September 5. 

And by then, it will only be 110 days until Christmas. 

Bad Boss!

When I was at the salon earlier today, I was reading the "letters to the editor" section of the recent People magazine.  One of the letters made me laugh out loud because it was so ridiculous.

The letter was in response to a recent article on bad bosses; the anonymous writer reported that when she became pregnant, she informed her boss and told her that her due date was in November, so she would need to take maternity leave. 

The boss began screaming at her for getting pregnant, and said that the due date was in November just to ruin the boss' Thanksgiving holiday!  (Side comment: it is not true that all women are understanding and compassionate.  This is a myth.)

Hard to believe, but it's a true story.  This is one of the worst type of bosses: the one who thinks the ENTIRE world is about them, and anything that goes wrong is especially targeted at them.   I'm sure if the pregnant letter writer had broken her leg in an accident, the she-boss from hell would have been certain it was on purpose to make her day harder.  I say let her wear the cast for six weeks, then.

Please note: there is NOTHING you can do about this type of boss.  You cannot fix him or her; you cannot "open a dialogue"; you cannot work on your issues.  This boss will never change, and he/she will never give you a moment's peace.

No paycheck is worth this type of daily, regular torment -- from this type of bad boss, or any boss for that matter. 

Quit. Now. It doesn't matter if you don't have another job lined up.  You will find another job, maybe a better job with a boss that may not be wonderful, but is possibly sane and just wants to get the work done.

If you don't find a job right away, you can always temp, or get a job at Starbucks.  The point being: don't sacrifice yourself on the altar of work.  You will not be happy, or even content -- and no one will appreciate it. 

You will survive not having a job, but you may not survive the bad boss and the long-term damage they will do to your psyche. 

Multi-Tasking: Smart or Stupid?

I'm sure you've all seen the cute headlines like "Driven to Distraction" regarding the new study on what causes most accidents.  It seems that multi-tasking (and drowsiness) are the main culprits.  Drowsiness is probably caused by multi-tasking because your brain just wants to be left alone. 

This study, done right here in the Washington, DC area, tracked drivers for one year to research what is actually causing accidents.  In most situations, it was the driver trying to do something other than drive -- like make phone calls, read, or put a CD in the player.  What caught my attention is that one of the drivers considers doing things behind the wheel "multi-tasking." 

There should be a special place in Hell for the person who coined that phrase, and he or she should share it with the person who spread this hellacious attitude among the masses. 

Once considered a move forward in time management, multi-tasking has basically become a punchline.  How many times have you heard someone say "I'm multi-tasking," then roll their eyes and heave a big sigh?  It's because we know that multi-tasking means we are overdoing -- usually for no good reason -- and on top of it, not paying attention. 

This attitude is now so pervasive that we think it's okay to do something else while we are at the controls of a vehicle that can kill. 

Read that again -- vehicle that can kill. 

Since when is making a phone call more important than making sure you don't kill yourself, or someone else? 

Multi-tasking in other parts of our lives may not have the same severe consequences, but it also leads to a lack of concentration, and hence, poorer performance.  When you multi-task at work, are you really getting more done, or are you creating more work for yourself when you have to do something again because you didn't pay attention? 

There's a solid thought behind the old saying "A stitch in time saves nine."  It means pay attention to what you are doing now, and you won't have a bigger problem later. 

Like unwrapping your car from around a telephone pole . . .

Fair and Equal are not the Same

I have a good friend that I used to work with, so I know her abilities and how hard she works.  In addition to being smart, talented, and hardworking, she now has years of experience, creating one valuable professional. 

Late last year, she talked with her boss about wanting to move up in the organization.  Her boss encouraged her; they developed a plan; and then they worked it.  My friend has worked extra hours, taken on more responsibility and continued to demonstrate her value to the organization.  Her raise and promotion are on track, and will be coming through soon.

This all sounds perfectly normal and fine, right?  Supportive boss, a plan for advancement, and extra work results in reaching a goal.

If things only went that smoothly.

An administrative support person with loose lips saw the paperwork regarding my friend's much deserved raise/promotion, and started telling other people -- despite the fact that it has not been officially announced.  One of the people who heard the news went to their boss and demanded a raise because my friend was getting one. 

Now wait a minute.  Since when do people get raises, promotions, or any other kind of workplace reward simply because someone else got one? 

This is the major confusion and problem in the workplace.  Everyone confuses fair with equal. 

Fair is a judgment call, made based on the individual person's performance and value to the organization -- or in some cases, lack of value.  It is fair to give a high-performer a raise and a promotion because they have earned it.  It is also fair not to give raises or any other rewards to people who just bide their time and do the bare minimum. 

Equal is a mathematical term; it can be measured.  For example, if a parent has two children, they will give them each one lollipop so that they are treated equally.  The lollipop is not necessarily a sign that these are good children; it just means that they each have one lollipop. 

That is how it works in the office, too.  All staff receive salaries based on their job responsibilities, and likely receive the same benefits package -- vacation, sick leave, health insurance, etc.  Staff receive similar basic compensation, thus being treated equally. 

Fair comes in when an organization treats its staff based on their performance.  It is not fair to treat high performers the same as those who just watch the clock.  In fact, this is the fastest way to ruin morale at an organization and lose the best staff people. 

To be successful, organizations must recruit and keep talented people.  To do this, they must reward staff for their hard work.  It should be made clear to all staff people that this is the way the organization works, and it needs to be incorporated into the office culture. 

It's the only fair thing to do. 

Talking to the Boss

Just got my copy of the email newsletter GWSAE Fast Read, and it had this little ditty to share:

There are plenty of slackers on staffs out there, and there are plenty of horrible managers as bosses. This message isn't for you. Another new study—this one from VitalSmarts—documents that among all the reasons employees leave, from money to opportunity to career change, a poor relationship with their boss tops the list. Amazingly, only 20 percent say they attempted to explain their concerns to their boss. "The number-one thing that bosses need to do ... is create a climate where their direct reports can hold crucial confrontations and crucial conversations with them," Joseph Grenny, president of VitalSmarts says. "They need to talk literally about anything, no matter how politically or emotionally sensitive it is. If they do that, people then feel connected." So, come on all you nonslackers and good managers: Start talking.

What I would like to know is how you are supposed to train your staff to have these "heart to heart" conversations when everyone I ever supervised always was afraid of "Getting Into Trouble," or getting fired.  Interestingly, none of my direct reports could explain what "getting into trouble" meant to them, and they didn't understand that you can't get fired just for not agreeing with your boss or upper management, as long as you perform your duties. 

I wonder if this study looked into the downside of sharing so openly with direct reports, which is that some people will use what you tell them against you, either by using it to make false reports to upper management or the human resources department.  Even worse, it can become grist for the office gossip/rumor mill, which causes even worse headaches. 

Years ago, I found myself in the terrible position of having the PRESIDENT OF THE ASSOCIATION, the chief staff person, gossiping about me behind my back -- and what he said wasn't even true.  I didn't find out for over six months that he had been doing this.  Of course, this led to my career at that particular association dead-ending. 

What was worse is that I had worked with the President at another association, and he always demanded loyalty.  Unfortunately, he had no intention of returning loyalty since in his mind it only flowed one way -- his way.  He expected staff to protect him at all times but had no problem throwing others into harm's way if it suited his purpose.   

My advice: first and foremost -- DO NOT GOSSIP at all, about anything or anyone.  It just makes you look bad. 

Talk to your staff and your boss, but be clear that all conversations must be work-related and kept on a professional level -- you're not their parent or their life coach. 

When talking to your boss or your staff, always have your thoughts organized and be able to explain clearly what you want, don't want, or don't like about something. 

If you don't agree with a decision, be able to explain why you think the boss' decision is wrong -- don't just say you don't like it or think it's stupid.  If you can't explain yourself, you will lose credibility.

Don't just protest -- have a workable solution before you start the conversation.  As a former "boss," I can assure you that they don't like hearing complaints without options. 

And finally, your boss is not a mind reader.  If you are unhappy or concerned, you must get this across to your boss.  A problem cannot be solved if the boss doesn't know it exists. 

Hug Your Coworker

This morning, I accompanied my husband to the funeral of a longtime coworker.  Steve, the man who died, was only 50 years old and was found dead this past weekend at home.  It was a great shock to everyone who knew Steve as he had told everyone he just had a cold.

My husband was really shaken up about this; he has been with his organization for 17 years, and Steve was already working there when he started.  In many ways, Steve was not just a coworker, but a sign of comfort and familiarity.  Steve was also very good at his job, which was mainly graphic design work, and my husband got to work with him on projects frequently. 

Were my husband and Steve friends?  Not in the true sense of the word; they didn't socialize outside work or share secrets.  However, they shared a bond built over many years of supporting the same organization through good times and bad times, and taking pride in the work they did.  They got along and they liked each other. 

Now, Steve is gone.  He won't be creating any more ads, or doing any more newsletter layouts, or tending to the organization's computer system (the other part of his job).  All those things he did that were taken for granted won't happen any more.  His office is empty in a way that echoes with the finality that he won't be back. 

Good bye Steve.  I didn't know you well at all, but you always had a smile and a warm hello.  I know you are going to be missed by many. 

The rest of us should take a minute and really look at our coworkers; you may not know them well, but they are your comrades in arms.  Think about how they contribute to your life and what things would be like if they were suddenly taken away. 

Business is business, but in the end, all our relationships are personal.  Remember to appreciate each other, even the screw ups, because they are the ones that give you something to talk about at the end of the day.

Stormy Times

This morning we had what I believe is our third March winter storm (did anyone tell Mother Nature we're only 13 days from spring?) and what was so surprising about this storm was the strong, gusting winds that brought the snow back.  At times, it looked like a snow cyclone.

As I was looking out my back window watching this feat of weather, I noticed a small moth clinging to the screen of my back door.  It was holding on tight, trying not to get blown away by the wind.  Several times it almost lost its grip.  Alone in the elements, it had no one to help it but itself. 

I think we all feel that way sometimes -- isolated, clinging, not knowing which way the wind will blow us.  Desperate, we hold on tight to something solid in hopes that we will anchor ourselves until we figure out what to do.  Sometimes, if we bide our time, the wind will blow itself out and we'll breathe a sigh of relief.  By enduring, we survive.

I don't know what happened to the little moth.  It wasn't there when I checked back later.  Possibly, it was torn from the screen and cast into the air with no control of its fate.  I like to think, though, that when the wind died down it unfurled its wings and glided away on the air current.

Sometimes things at the office are highly stressful, and we can worry too much about what might happen, instead of what is.  Frightened, we cling to whatever we can -- a detail, a memo, a meeting, a title -- just to feel secure.  Like the moth on the screen, we don't let go because we are afraid of what might come next. 

Breathe out, talk it out, quietly consider.  It's just work, and no one ever died wishing they spent more time at the office.  Do your best, then let it rest.